Monday, November 14, 2011

Temper Tantrums - An Opportunity to Teach Your Child How to Process Emotions

!: Temper Tantrums - An Opportunity to Teach Your Child How to Process Emotions

Empathy and intuition gives us the ability to better understand how we are connected to other living things. It is a form of communication with others, nature, animals, and even higher or spiritual forms of life. We are all born with empathic ability but most of us shut the sensing ability down at some point either because the energy overload causes discomfort or we are taught not to trust our inner guidance. By shutting down our intuition and empathic ability, we live in our heads and are pretty much out of touch with our body and our own emotions.

The Latin word for emotion is emovere, which means movement. Suppressing an emotion prevents the natural movement of vital energy or "chi" as it is referred to by the Chinese. As Karol Truman says in her book by the same title, "feelings buried alive never die." Denying and resisting what you feel only makes things worse because the emotions that need to move through you are then stored or "stuck" in your cells where they will demand to be dealt with at a later time.

Intuitive children and teens know their personal truth. Any distortion of that truth can cause them to feel confused, depressed, unbalanced, or even sick. When a child stuffs his feelings it creates an inward vortex of spiraling emotions that can continue to pull him downward for years to come. Childhood depression can be carried into adulthood if it is not dealt with when it first appears. If your child has bouts of depression, notice what triggers are associated with the episodes. Who has he been around? What disturbing event has occurred recently? Has someone criticized or urged him to stuff his emotions regarding an upsetting situation?

In our society, we have been taught to be emotionally dishonest. We pretend to feel one thing when we truly feel another. When we are angry and our spouse asks, "What's wrong?" we pretend not to be upset. We say, "Nothing's the matter" or we give the person the silent treatment rather than calmly and rationally expressing our point of view. When we are sad, we say everything is fine, yet a large percentage of the population is taking antidepressants, which indicates that things are not fine in regards to our emotions and how we express them. When we deny what we feel or judge ourselves for feeling it, we deny an authentic part of ourselves. If we resist or ignore what is happening or what we feel, we don't allow ourselves to process the experience.

I'm not advocating a full-blown, violent expression of emotions-that's just as harmful as stuffing an emotion. No one should be a victim of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. No one enjoys watching a two-year-old throw a temper tantrum in the grocery store either, but this unrestrained expression of emotions is one of the ways children keep toxic energy from getting stuck in their bodies. Until a child learns a better, more mature way to manage his emotions, you might as well expect a few disturbing eruptions.

Children aren't the only ones who need to learn how to maturely deal with their emotions in order to process and release them appropriately. I've seen adults throw a fit when they didn't get their way-a sure sign that this person was not taught how to negotiate in a more positive manner to obtain a positive outcome in a situation.

Back to the child throwing a fit, balance is the key. You can hardly ignore a child's temper tantrum, but there's no need to stop the child from expressing his emotions. The irritating behavior occurs usually because the child wants something that the parent says he can't have. Avoid the temptation to cave in and give him whatever it is that he wants just to get him to stop screaming or kicking. Make sure the child is safe and then calmly remove yourself a comfortable distance from his/her presence and do not interact with him until the outburst has ended. It may be embarrassing if the tantrum occurs in public, but this ordeal is not about you nor is it a reflection on your parenting abilities. It is a learning opportunity for both the parent and the child. Be sure to talk about the episode after the child has recomposed himself. This is a step in teaching him how to deal with upsetting situations in a healthy way that acknowledges his feelings without letting them get the best of him or harm others. Whatever we place emphasis upon will cause it to increase. So, don't dwell on the tantrum, but do talk about what's upsetting both of you and attempt to resolve the issue together. This non-blaming, non-resistant method of dealing with life's troubles will transform any relationship and give all parties the freedom to feel what they feel, express personal likes/dislikes, and be totally honest. If you do not react negatively, this childish behavior will end when the child learns that throwing a fit does not gain him/her the attention that was expected or accomplish what he/she intended.

"The sorrow that has no vent in tears may make other organs weep." ~Henry Maudsley

Resistance or stuffing our emotions actually attracts more of the things, people, energy, and situations we don't want. We resist because we are fearful or in denial. We resist our emotions because we are afraid to feel. Perhaps we are afraid our emotions will take over and we will lose control. Quite the opposite is true. Our emotions, when stuffed, are silently taking over our well-being; and, building up pressure inside. These pent-up feelings may rush forth unexpectedly and cause us to be the adult throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store! When we resist someone or something (even if it is unpleasant) rather than accept what is, it only makes things worse. Being resistant blinds us to possibilities and solutions and causes us to become stuck, defensive, shut down, and reactive. As a result, our body may feel tight, tense, or lethargic; our emotions may feel heavy, sad, or angry.

Those who have developed the gift of empathy and learned to trust their intuition are more inclined to pay attention to what they sense and feel. Observing and dealing with situations as they arise allows emotional energy to flow through without getting stuck, while at the same time you remain grounded and centered.
If something is upsetting you deal with it quickly rather than denying its reality. If you notice you are in a state of resistance, do an activity that brings peace of mind, balance, and well-being. The book I am writing with Dr. Caron Goode can help. Caron is the award winning author of Raising Intuitive Children and the international best-seller, Kids Who See Ghosts, guide them through their fear.

The more you learn to manage your emotions, the better teacher you become to the children in your life. I encourage you develop your intuition and set an example of non-resistant behavior. When you move into the stream of life, things begin to fall into perfect alignment, synchronicities abound, aches and pains diminish, stress melts away, creativity flourishes, relationships heal, and we experience a profound sense of peace.


Temper Tantrums - An Opportunity to Teach Your Child How to Process Emotions

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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Isabel Caro Is A Brave Young Woman - Her 13 Year Struggle With Anorexia May Save Lives

!: Isabel Caro Is A Brave Young Woman - Her 13 Year Struggle With Anorexia May Save Lives

Is it enough to go to such extremes as having a poster campaign, which was launched in Italy on Monday, September 24th 007, in the campaign for awareness of Anorexia. Will it have the right impact on society?

With the death of three models over the run of one year, the Fashion world stood up and took action against the disease. (a recap is listed below)

Girls starving themselves to point of their oragans failing, in order to have a glam career is what it's come to in the Fashion World. But, anorexia has been around a long time, and it affects people all over the world. Eating disorders like anorexia can kill, and unfortunately it's not the type of diseasae that can be easily fixable. There are no pills, there is no direct treatment that works for everyone, there is no physical reason for it to develop. Other than what's in the mind of the anorexic, or bulemic.

Being educated in what's going on in the world about anorexia is what this article is all about. Informing people of who is taking action, and why. Maybe other countries will join them, maybe even your own.

So, for the curious reader, the ones who want to learn about the disease, and how certain places are making it known that it won't be tollerated any longer, I have tallied up some facts for you, about Italy, and Milan in particular. I love Models, I love Fashion Tv, and I write a lot of articles for Models because I think they should have a healthy and fabulous career. They deserve it, and the rest of the world deserves to be have healthy, strong viable youths. And it certainly seems to be on the horizon.

Here's a recap of some of the facts:

Isabel Caro, an anorexic for over 13 years, posed nude for a series of photographs that are being displayed on billboards, and in a centerfold picture for a popular news paper in Italy.

Italian photographer Oliviero Toscani, known for his disturbing photographs of aids victims, was the most appropriate choice for this sensitive issue. Isabel Caro is a young French woman, and she weighs just over 31 kilos, (68.2 lbs) as Milan's Fashion Star, to promote the dangers of the disease of anorexia.

No Anorexia it states, No-l-ita.

The Fashion World has applauded the campaign sponsored by Italian clothing company Flash & Partners to publicize their fashion brand targeting young women.

The reactions from such a naked truth about the disease runs extreme in both directions. Some health professionals are worried that envy from those suffering the disease may increase the competition anorexic's often fall prey to. "This model should be in a hospital, not on a billboard, was reported to the BBC News in the Uk, by Health Professionals in Italy.

Giorgio Armani called the imagery shocking, and he thought it was "opportune" as a way of making people face up to the dangers of anorexia, which he said had little to do with models on catwalks. "Anorexia has reasons which are not linked to fashion. Even people who take no notice of fashion get anorexic," he said.

Giorgio Armani has a distinct point. Unless you are a fashion guru, have time to fly to Milan, Paris and New York, for fashion shows, you aren't really going to notice a runway Model, or even be able to name the 'It' girl of the week. Media such as television and magazine models all don't necessarily walk the runways of the modeling industry. Infact, the weight loss pressures seen on television, and exaggerated stats on obesity in certain countries also do factor in on how the general public perceive the acceptable size of a beautiful woman. For this disease to be combated, everyone needs to take a piece of the responsibility.

Toscani himself (the controversial photographer) concluded that the disease of anorexia was not the fault of fashion, he was quoted to say. "It's a much wider phenomenon, involving all the media and TV in particular. Television offers young women absurd models for success".

Riccardo Dalle Grave, head of an Italian association dealing with eating disorders, wasn't impressed by the use of an anorexic model for a publicity stunt.

"You can die from this disease," he said. "If they really want to prevent it, it would be better to help young women accept a variety of body measurements and understand that beauty comes in all sizes".

Dalle Grave admitted the campaign's alarming images are getting the public talking, but said talking about anorexia with likely victims often wasn't helpful. It could even spark "self-destructive behavior," he said.

Fabiola De Clercq, leader of the ABA association for research into Anorexia and Bulimia, had reportedly referred to Toscani's scandalous photo as "excessively crude". She was quoted to have concerns about the impact having the right effect on girls suffering from the illness. "They could feel envious of the anorexic model photographed in an ad and think that they too can get thinner. Done this way, this campaign has no sense," she said.

Corriere della Sera, a popular Italian newspaper refused to publish the crude photos, and it was picked up by their competition La Repubblica.

On the other side of the fence, there was reportedly a supporting statement for the anorexia awareness campaign from the Italian health ministry. The alarming image of Isabelle Caro could "open an original channel for communication" and "encourage people to shoulder their responsibilities in the area of anorexia," said Minister Livia Turco.

The billboard was released to the public a week prior to the Fashion Show Week in Milan. It had the streets buzzing with curiosity, and in some cases praise for such an impacting statement in a single photograph.

Isabelle Caro, the star Model for Milan's fashion week, was interviewed by Vanity Fair, where she openly discusses her silent struggles with anorexia. She expressed her reasoning for exposing her body in such a manner as 'psychologically useful'.

She was quoted to say, "I've hidden myself and covered myself for too long. Now I want to show myself fearlessly, even though I know my body arouses repugnance".

She certainly was brave to willingly be so utterly exposed, but with Toscani's vision in control of the camera, a quality respectable and impacting statement was certain to be created. As long as people keep talking about the disease, and countries such as Italy show they care about young women, hopefully the disease will decrease in numbers among women.

It was a shocking day in Italy, when the naked truth was exposed about the disease anorexia, the buzz on the street however, was supportive, receptive, and just like Milan, leading in the fashion trends, and standing strong for what they believe in!


Isabel Caro Is A Brave Young Woman - Her 13 Year Struggle With Anorexia May Save Lives

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